Saturday, August 13, 2011

NUTRIA REPORT TO OUR ARCHITECTS AFTER THEIR VACATION, (LOOSELY TRANSLATED FROM THE ITALIAN)





TO: Our brillliant architects and friends, D&G 
Subject: bella vacanza?

Ciao,
We and our dear nutria hope that you had a marvelous vacation.

Our Hotel, with its Club Med (especially designed for hairy animals with long tails and gigantic orange teeth) has been a great success with the nutria:they awarded 4 stars to our pool, and above all to our toilet facilities which have been so well used and appreciated by all. They reserved special praise for our excellent clean-up service. As they put it, "there’s a certain Signore J, head of the Poop Patrol, who comes regularly to clean up whatever we leave behind."     

We leave tomorrow at 7AM for a little vacation from them. Therefore, we regret to say that it’s possible that for the next few days, the service around here will not be up to its usual standard. Too bad about that.-- baci, D de P

 AND ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER?

We returned, with great trepidation from our trip to visit friends on the Amalfi Coast, where, for 4 days, we made a valiant effort NOT to think about nutria. While we were gone, our architects unpacked from their vacation and swung into action. I texted them while we were en route:

"We hope that all is going well and we are eager to get home. J can't wait to hear what happened on the nutria 'front.' Who is the victor? Us or them?"

D answered in his always impeccable Italian:
"It seems as if the battle has been won and that the enemy has definitively capitulated (we hope). And then the pool company folks came to re-clean and disinfect the the battlefield."

Our ecstatic response: "WHAT GREAT NEWS!"

On arriving home, we ran straight to the pool and thanked our lucky stars, our architects, and especially Farmer G. 

But that was before we found out there had been a power outage the day we left, leaving the fridge off for 4 days. Needless to say, it smelled worse than
a pool full of nutria caca, but we are not complaining!

ALL QUIET ON THE NUTRIA FRONT?


After a week of no nutria due to our enhanced fortifications, Farmer G, our architect, and Marcello came to "controllare" and make sure that there would be no further incursions. 
When it comes to outsmarting nutria, two smart contadino heads are better then one--especially if they belong to Marcello and Farmer G.

A typical Marcello-esque pose, as if to say, "I may be short, but no nutria is going to get the better of me!"

Where would we be without these two guys?
NOWHERE! (Or knee-deep in nutria poop)

Checking out our Maginot Line...

Entrance gate fortifications. Rule #1:Unless you want to be rolling out the welcome mat for armies of  nutria, keep the gate closed! (duh...)


No comments:

Post a Comment