Friday, December 4, 2015

"IT'S TIME TO RISE AND SHINE!" SAYS MURRAY THE WONDER DOG (BUT NOT EXACTLY IN THOSE WORDS)



Now an elder-statesman at age 14, our dog Murray has set out to disprove that old saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." If you have been reading this blog for a while, you've already heard about some of his former feats of "daring-do," such as jumping through a mostly-closed car door window to wander the parking lot in search of his beloved Master. See July 6, 2013  MURRAY THE WONDER DOG (WHO WILL JUMP THROUGH HOOPS...

You've also seen some of his never-fail techniques for getting that very same Master out of bed, PRONTO, even though it's not even 7AM. See Nov. 2, 2014 MURRAY THE MULTI-LINGUAL WONDER DOG WHO WANTS TO B...

But now he has discovered the wonders of the snooze alarm, and it's none other than HE, HIMSELF! Here's how it works.

STEP ONE
Murray slinks upstairs and makes what he thinks are coyly irresistible coos of love. When they don't have the desired effect, as evidenced by our attempts to ignore him by rolling ourselves toward the middle of the bed with the covers over our head, it's time for...

STEP TWO
Murray sidles up to my side of the bed, raises himself onto his old, arthritic haunches, and reaches as far as he can with increasingly insistent pawing.

STEP THREE
We roll closer to the other side of the bed while the aforementioned Master says sternly, "Murray, WAIT!" Sometimes this works, despite the barely suppressed giggles of the Master's
wife, who knows what's coming next...

STEP FOUR
After Murray sashays over to the Master's side of the bed, a few calculatedly-spaced LOUD barks begin, which, when met with silence (or another "Murray, you've got to WAIT!") resume at a pace that Beethoven might label "accelerando."

STEP FIVE
The Master's sleepy wife says to try the command that always works for our son and daughter-in-law's well-behaved pooch: an authoritative "UH UH!"

This crisp "UH UH!" seems to surprise Murray and he pipes down while executing a delicate flop onto the carpet. Ah! Time to catch a few more winks?

FINALE
Oops--not so much. (Murray has clearly not been paying attention to Cesar Milan's program, where all behavior problems vanish once the Master shows he means business.)
As it turns out, those pauses in barking were just a decoy before the climax of a "crescendo" that will not be denied.

And just how long did all of the preceding drama take? Maybe about ten minutes? The so-called Master is on his feet, with his loyal, tail a'wagging companion right behind him.

So, yes, Murray the Wonder Dog has invented his own version of the Doggy Snooze Alarm. As the Master's wife pulls up the covers and rolls over, she's thinking two things:

1.Sometimes it's a good thing NOT to be The Master.

2.This could make a good story.

My muse, Murray, finds the olive harvest very relaxing.

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